Bedtime feels unbearably heavy when you’ve been living with years of broken sleep.
When my son was five, I had already gone through years of sleeping in fragments.
Never enough, never fully restored. I was moving through the days in the way you do when you’re in survival mode and can’t see a way out.
Most nights, I was dreading bedtime long before it started.
As the evening moved on, I found myself procrastinating, hoping my husband might take over. But even when he did, the battles continued, and my desperation kept growing. I kept hearing other people’s words in my head: “This shouldn’t still be happening at his age.”
Night after night, it was the same pattern, and I was convinced that I was failing as a mother.
Looking back now, I can see why bedtime felt so overwhelming.
Like most parents, I was trying to balance too many responsibilities at once.
I was worn out in the evenings
Making decisions, managing emotions, my personal responsibilities.
By evening, I didn’t want to negotiate tooth-brushing or justify why clothes don’t belong on the floor. I just wanted a moment of peace, where no one needs anything from me.
When I’m tired, I find it very difficult to connect to my son and offer the reassurance he needs.
I was impatient, and rushed him through the steps, so I could finally get to the point where I could sit on the couch and rest.
I felt judged by the other people
Comments from friends, family, or even well-meaning strangers made me question myself.
Hearing “he should be sleeping by now” or “you must be doing something wrong” made me doubt my commitment to connection-first parenting. I started to wonder if this approach really worked.
My son’s resistance to go to bed, felt like a personal rejection.
Most bedtime expectations don’t match child development
At the time, I didn’t have a clear, realistic picture of what bedtime should look like.
I assumed that my son should be able to go to bed on his own and sleep easily. Many parenting experts say that bedtime should be easy “if we’re doing it right”.
Now I know that my son’s resistance to go to bed was very normal and developmentally expected.
My turning point
When I finally realized that my son genuinely needed my help, I saw his refusal to go to bed differently.
I started to look for the reasons behind it and what I could do to support him.
I also understood that I wasn’t failing as a mother. I was just missing important information.
One small thing you can try today
If you find bedtime difficult, I invite you to ask yourself:
“What is one thing I can do to make evenings easier for me?”
Explore the full library of articles, stories, and parenting resources here.
Yes, that is indeed a good way to put out na experience🙂
It must be so hard to manage if all you want to do is wind up the day, but the child cannot fall asleep. But no two child is the same, and bedtime too can differ from child to child.. So when people give opinions, it would probably be sensible to them, but not us..